Tideford Organics Review

My first impression of the line of soups and sauces that we were sent from Tideford was the simple fresh ingredients. For those of you who are “eating clean” or limiting the amount of ingredients in each meal, these may fit your lifestyle. I was so pleased to find that their products are not only wheat and gluten free but also vegetarian and organic. This includes many products for vegans as well! Every day we see more and more gluten free products on the shelves, but they are often filled with less than healthy ingredients and are rarely organic. Kudos to Tideford for raising the bar. Below are our opinions on the soups and sauces we were sent to try.


Organic Italian Tomato Soup with Red Pepper & Lentils

First impression was that this soup tasted fresh and home made. Lovely balance of tomatoes, red pepper and lentils. Garlic isn’t overpowering and you can taste each individual flavour in turn. A bit light on seasoning for my taste, but great for those who are concerned about sodium intake and you can always add more if you wish!

what the other taster said: (@solobasssteve)
Tastes wonderfully home made yet light on seasoning which means you can embellish.


Organic Jalepeno Pepper Salsa with Lime Juice

I was not keen on this salsa. My readers know that I’m a bit of a salsa snob and this tasted like the base was tinned tomatoes rather than fresh. That might not be the case, but it was what came to mind after the first bite. Tomato seemed to be the dominating flavour and the other ingredients were hard to perceive. Salsa for me needs a bit of a pepper bite, which this did not have. There was a hint of garlic but could not pick out the coriander and lime.. I liked the consistency, it was like a true mexican salsa…but it just needs more flavour to be considered a salsa rather than a bland tomato sauce in my opinion.

what the other taster said: @solobasssteve
This tasted like cold soup.


 Organic Spicy Butternut Soup with Sweet Potato

I wasn’t sure what to expect with this one as I am normally not a fan of butternut soup that isn’t home made but said “WOW” after my first bite. The first flavour to hit my palette was cumin which was unexpected. This soup was flavoured very much like a subtle Indian daal. Absolutely lovely favours that all mesh well together and it was perfectly seasoned.  Also I felt great after eating it. Fantastic combination of butternut squash, sweet potato and red lentils. Well done. My favourite so far!

what the other taster said: @solobasssteve “This not only tastes home made…but like you made it.” (I have him brainwashed!)


 Organic Beetroot Soup with Creme Fraiche & Dill

Ooh! Another lovely soup! Tastes light and delicious and comes the closest to the beetroot soup that I make at home.  I’d love to taste it with a tiny hint of acidity to balance the sweetness (apple cider vinegar would be perfect)  but this is being picky as it works fine without it. Again, not overly seasoned and lots of room for embellishment at home. Add some plain yogurt, soured cream or fresh dill on top!

what the other taster said: @solobasssteve
“Tasty. Feels like a well balanced canvas that has room for more paint. Understated but delicious.”


Organic Spinach and Split Pea Soup with Nutmeg

I enjoyed the soup but I think that the name is misleading. If it had been called Organic Spinach and Split Pea Soup with Cumin, I would have known what to expect. Tasty though, and just the right amount of salt. But don’t expect the subtle flavours of a normal pea soup or the flavour of nutmeg. I added a bit of strong cheddar to mine halfway through and it was delicious.

2nd taster skipped this one as he wasn’t feeling well that day. 😦


Organic Tomato and Basil Sauce

This was my favourite of the lot. I NEVER buy pre-made pasta sauce but this is already on my shopping list. I defy you to find a better tasting pasta sauce with more flavour and less ingredients.   Deep rich tomato flavour, perfectly seasoned with a nice edge of basil. I used it to accompany my gluten-free penne and it was a perfect companion. Can’t wait to try this as a pizza sauce on a delicious wheat-free and gluten-free base!

 what the other taster said: @solobasssteve As the husband of a chef, one of the best complements that I can give to a product is to say that it tastes home made. This does. This sauce is perfectly balanced, rich and creamy and I’d be happy to have this on a regular basis. This does not taste like it came from a jar. Well done!!

If you’re interested in trying Tideford Organic products for yourself, including their range of porridge, rice pudding and jellies, click here to find a local stockist. Or buy online from Ocado!

5 Tips For Transitioning Into a Gluten/Wheat-Free Home Environment

Image

What happens once you are diagnosed with a wheat of gluten allergy or intolerance? Although it gets easier as awareness and need grows for gluten and wheat-free food, there are many concerns that one needs to address whilst adapting to a new lifestyle. Especially if you are living in an environment where other members of the household will continue to eat wheat and gluten containing products. There are a few steps that you can take in order to protect yourself from having a reaction through cross contamination.

1. You’ll need a separate toaster that has not been used with wheat and gluten containing breads. Setting up your own station for preparing gluten free bread products is a must. Clearly label your toaster GLUTEN FREE ONLY so that guests know not to use it for normal bread. Also make sure that normal bread products are being kept away from your food preparation area and that family members/ house mates know to clean up their crumbs!

2. Do no use/share condiments/butter  Unless it’s a squeezable bottle or something that a knife can not be inserted into. Condiments and butter are one of the biggest causes of cross contamination at home and in restaurants as people do not realise that these items are full of gluten and wheat. You’ve done it hundreds of times….you’re making a sandwich and putting mustard on it….you scoop some out on your knife and it’s not quite enough so you dip the knife back in again for a little more. Now the mustard is unusable for someone who is avoiding wheat/gluten.

3. Chopping Boards Collanders and pots are items that you should not share with people in the household who are using them for wheat/gluten containing products like bread and pasta. As a whole it’s worth it to invest in a few kitchen items only used for what you prepare for yourself.

4. Learn to cook this may be a fairly obvious one. But I do realise that in some ways, even though there was virtually no awareness about food allergies or easily recognised safe products at the time when I was diagnosed…I was already a cook/chef at the time so learning to modify ingredients in my diet was a challenge I embraced. I did go through some trial and error, but the cooking bit was always easy for me.  If you don’t like to spend loads of time in the kitchen…all you need to do is start out with a few simple recipes that you can do in 5 minutes or less.  Omelettes, quesadillas, GF pasta and simple salads are a good start. There are loads of pre-packaged gluten-free options out there now…but they are pricey and often filled with ingredients that are often less than healthy. Learning to cook will save you loads of money and keep you healthier.

5. Educate others  Don’t expect other people to know how to keep you from having a reaction. You need to educate other family members and friends on how to keep you safe. They love you…they want to help. Not long ago, it seemed that people viewed food allergies and mental illness in the same way. So many times I’ve been told..”It’s all in your head!” Things have changed. Allergy UK states that around 45% of people in the UK suffer from some sort of food allergy/intolerance. Don’t be afraid to ask people for what you need. You will probably encounter some resistance along the way, but being clear about what you can eat and how it’s prepared is a lot easier than spending the night doubled over or a trip to the hospital. Get used to speaking up…you’ll need to do it a lot.

Obviously there is a lot more to say on this subject, especially about the foods you now can/can’t eat…but that is for another time and I find there’s a lot of good info already out there on the web. I will be posting soon on that subject…but if you need help for now here are some great places to start:

http://www.coeliac.org.uk/

http://www.foodallergy.org/

http://www.glutenfree-crawley.org.uk/index.php

all photos used in this blog are sourced from flickr and licensed through Creative Commons. To find out more info about the photographer and enjoy more of their photos, please click on the picture itself and you will be taken to their flickr page! Enjoy!

Touring with Food Allergies…Tips and Guides for Safe Eating

So I am again off on tour in the USA until July 4th. This trip has been a revelation so far…it’s amazing to see how many allergy friendly places have cropped up since last year and how much easier it is to find proper allergy friendly food at grocery stores. The labeling has also improved and you can pretty much count on the labeling listing allergens which is a vast improvement from past years. So over the next few months I shall be giving you the heads up on some of the places I’ve visited, tell you about some of the people I’ve talked to, and tell you how I tour with a severe wheat allergy. It’s not always easy, but things are getting better! I can’t wait to tell you about Mozzarelli’s in NYC. BEST PIZZA EVER and they are doing everything right. I got to have a nice conversation with manager Judith and she has officially restored my faith in allergy friendly Italian fare. Stay tuned friends!! xoLo.

Dining Out with Allergies, How my Favourite Restaurant Has Let me Down for the Last Time

I sometimes wish that people would get with the program. I also think that a restaurant that actively advertises wheat-free and or gluten-free food is more dangerous to us than one that makes no claim of knowledge or policy. When you offer gluten-free food on your menu…you MUST train staff to know how the seriousness of serving people with allergies and intolerances. The cards are stacked against us already and being able to visit a restaurant where we trust the menu and the staff is a huge relief to us when they get it right.

I love the food at Food for Friends in Brighton, that being said they have a terrible staff. They are nice and friendly but they have almost sent me to the hospital for the last time. I will not return. I had to send my food back 3 times on my last visit. Firstly because I asked for the gluten-free option for my baby’s meal and they brought it out with wheat pita. Next, my main was the gluten -free option of a mushroom dish originally in a filo basket. They brought the item out in the filo and when I asked it to be changed, they just dumped it out of basket and back onto the plate. (I knew this because they brought the plate back within a few minutes) When I asked if it was the same food, they said they didn’t know and would go and check. I am HIGHLY allergic to wheat…to the tune of carrying an epi-pen. Had I just trusted them and consumed my meal, I could have ended up in the hospital.

I don’t want to have to pay a premium for gluten-free food and still have to educate the staff in the process. I also don’t know what other mistakes they were making with my food in prep. Were they cutting my gluten-free bread with the same knife as the wheat? On the same chopping board? Can I enjoy my meal if I don’t trust the staff to know what they are doing?

I am willing to pay for great food properly prepared with care and will spend all my time telling everyone I know all about it. Badly done Food for Friends, I am not risking my life waiting around for you to get it right….and I suggest anyone else who goes there to know that they could be putting themselves or their child in danger and paying a premium for it as well.

Flaxjacks at Borough Market!

We happened to be tooling around Borough Market near London Bridge on Saturday and saw a sign for Flaxjacks (a product developed by The Flax Farm…lovely flapjacks made with ground linseed meal.  Now normally flapjacks are not gluten-free…only wheat-free as one of their main ingredient is oats.  Enter the Flax Farm.  I chatted with the lovely Clare to get to know a little more about the healthful benefits to both humans and animals as well as its diverse uses in cooking.

I remember flax oil (or linseed oil) from my childhood.  My parents used it when refinishing furniture.  The smell brings back pleasant memories of  stripped down furniture waiting to be redressed. 🙂 Until I studied nutrition at university, I had never really thought of using flax seed oil for it’s nutritive qualities.  I came across it a lot in my research on anti-inflammatory foods…though it’s not been a substance I’ve used much due to it’s strong flavour.  But when I tried these Flaxjacks from the Flax Farm, I realised what I’d been missing!  Gorgeous sweets that really make you feel good, and finally something for the wheat, gluten-free, dairy-free and vegan!  For yes, Clare has also developed a range of gluten-free, dairy-free and vegan flaxjacks as well.  YAY us!

So, I’m now hooked and think I’m going to try and replace my normal wheat-free sweet treats with Flaxjacks and see how much better I feel in future.  I’ll let you know!  In the meantime, please go have a sample for yourself, visit Clare and her team every Saturday in the new covered Jublee Market nearest the Rake public house, or make an order online here. The Chocolate Tiffin ones were my favourite, and I’m sure that Clare has also developed a gluten-free version as well. Let me know what you think and if you’re an avid user of linseed oil or flaxseed products and if you’ve experienced any health benefits from your use of them.  Eat well and be happy!

I’ll leave you with a fantastic pic taken by my lovely friend and amazing photographer/videographer Brian Wilson.  You can see some of his video work here (this is from the house concert we did at his place this year)…..have a gander/listen while you’re enjoying your flaxjacks!!

If you’d like to order Flaxjacks by phone, call Clare at: 01403 268844 or 079171 232422

Spicy Sweet Potato Stew with Wheat-Free Dumplings

This is one of my favourite recipes, and I find myself craving this when I feel as if I am coming down with a cold.  You can adjust the spices to your taste. Some people prefer more cumin and less cinnamon, or more heat.  It’s a very forgiving recipe so feel free to play!  Don’t work the dumplings too much or they won’t be as light as they can be. Also, each blend of gluten free flour is different, so you might need to adjust the liquid to get it right.  They need to be the consistency of drop biscuits (or drop  scones) when you put them in the stew.  Not too wet or they will not stay together properly.  You can try a test dumpling if you’re not sure.

African Sweet Potato Stew w/ Wheat-Free Dumplings

2-3  medium sweet potatoes peeled and cubed
2-3 medium white or red potatoes peeled and cubed
3 cloves garlic peeled and chopped finely
1 can diced tomatoes
1/2 inch piece of fresh Ginger peeled and chopped finely
1 medium onion diced
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp red chili flakes or one fresh chili snapped and added (this way you can take it out if it’s getting too spicy)
1 1/2 tsp cumin
salt to taste
Boiling water
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 tbsp honey or 2tbsp agave

Dumplings

1cup dove’s wheat-free self-raising flour
1 egg beaten
1 cup milk
pinch of salt

Add olive oil to heated soup pan or Dutch oven set to medium heat, fry onions until transluscent, sweet potatoes until slightly brown and caramelised, add garlic and Ginger until you begin to smell them. Add spices and  salt and stir to coat.  Incorporate tomatoes and mix well and then add enough boiling water to cover mixture by 1/2 inch. Boil lightly for 15-20 minutes until potatoes are tender.

For dumplings, mix flour together with salt. Add beaten egg and milk and mix together. Spoon dumplings into boiling liquid then turn heat to low. Cover the pot and steam dumplings for 15-20 minutes.

Many thanks to Dave Lifeson for the gorgeous photo, licensed under creative commons on flickr.  Click on the photo to see more of his work.

Dining Out, How to Eat Wheat-Free in London

So in my very long diatribe about my food allergies originally posted in 2007, I stated that when one discovers that they have a wheat allergy that it will be very hard if not impossible to dine out in the future.  My how things have changed in the space of a few years!  When I first discovered my allergy I was always having horrible reactions when trying to dine out.  Not so now!  Food allergies are on the minds of a lot of restaurants these days and they are doing their best to help us not only to dine out, but to dine out WELL.  Here’s a few of my faves in London.

1. Pod (fresh seasonal food for breakfast and lunch)
This place is brilliant.  They have very nice gluten and wheat-free selections and a focus on the ecological. The food is gorgeous and you can even enjoy a nice dessert! Dig in!

2. Wagamama (japanese)
Did you know that Wagamama actually has an allergy menu? if you ask when you arrive they’ll be happy to accommodate you.  Just don’t ask for an avocado to feed your baby, but that’s another story!  I usually get the Yasai Itame, a delicious spicy soup with tofu, veg and a coconut and lemongrass broth.  It’s HUGE and delicious. *note* do NOT eat the edamame at Wagamama if you are avoiding wheat.  They cook this in the same water as the noodles which takes away it’s wheat-free status.  A stupid move on Wagamama part I think, but what can I say? I do have some issues with this places despite loving the food here I can eat.

3. Leon (Good Food, Fast)
Yes, lovely Leon cater to us wheatnayers. Brilliantly in fact.  There are so many things on the menu that you can have, including desserts…that you’ll actually find yourself with a choice.  Yes, it’s true.  A dilemma I can’t say I usually have when dining out!  If you are in there in the evening, try the wheat-free brownie a la mode. !!!  My favourite main is the Quinoa Superfood Salad.  It’s perfect.

4.  Cotto (delicious Italian)
I don’t go here too often because it’s a bit out of my way but the lovely owner of this restaurant is himself in fact a Celiac.  There’s a special gluten free menu and this includes pizza, gnocchis, and pastas.  All delicious and even gluten free bread as a starter!

5. Tortilla (mexican burritos and tacos)
This is the only place on my main list that I go that doesn’t actively cater to wheat-free patrons.  They are very nice when you ask them to wrap the corn tortillas for tacos in foil before putting them on the grill and to change their gloves.  But if your allergy is severe, you need to be careful.  I keep meaning to write them a note asking if they have plans to train their staff on wheat-free preparation.  I’ll keep you updated.  Also you can get what it called a ‘naked’ burrito, which is everything but the wheaty tortilla in a bowl.  It’s delicious and very fresh.

Other places to try Ooze Risottoria, Kondidor and Cook (desserts), Mildred’s (vegetarian), Hummus Bros (big delightful bowls of hummus), and Vitaorganic (lovely organic veggie food served from copper cauldrons)

I guess as in all things, if you are not sure of something when dining out…ASK.  If the staff don’t know then you probably need to be a bit wary.  Most chefs are willing to tell you every ingredient that is in a dish to help you know what you can and cannot eat, but remember that many places have not trained staff on how not to cross contaminate food.  Eating out is always a bit of a risk for the severely allergic…but you can be pretty certain that if a restaurant has an allergy menu that they will have addressed these issues. Please let me know great places I haven’t mentioned and your experiences in dining out wheat-free in London. Enjoy!

Allergy/Vegan Friendly Food at Greenbelt

So here I am again at the Greenbelt Festival and what a contrast to 2 years ago! It seems that people are starting to recognise a need for wheat/gluten free food as well as using fresh quality ingredients that make eating vegetarian/vegan so much easier!

Festivals have always posed a problem for me when searching for something to eat, and I found that if I couldn’t bring my own food that I was eating only plain jacket potatoes or plain chips which doesn’t make for the healthiest of meals over time. Even at a festival as eco-conscious as Greenbelt, I’ve had a hard time in the past. Enter places like Thunder Dragon, Food from Bhutan, the Mash Shack, and even Nuts is offering some delicious gluten/wheat free apple ginger cake this year.

I spoke to the lovely Roger from Thunder Dragon where I’ve eaten almost every meal since arriving on site. There are so many things that I can eat on the menu! A lovely green Thai curry, chickpea curry, beautiful rice with black mustard seeds in, a daal that is to die for, and they even do very nice nachos with proper cheese instead of that cheese sauce that seems so popular at festivals and is a real no no for celiacs and wheat free patrons. It’s great to see that through great recipes and using fresh ingredients that all kinds of special diets can be accommodated.

So head over there and have some nice food before you’re leave the festival. Thunder Dragon is located right next to the Performance Cafe and they’re open till midnight tonight. See you there!

Should You Take Over The Counter Meds or Just Eat? (2008)

So, every once in a while I jump up on my soapbox and give you a good talkin’ to about nutrition. It’s a subject I’ve long been interested in and the one thing I’ve found that really makes a difference in my health and well being. When you’ve got a body like mine in which my immune system likes to pull ninja -like maneuvers by silently attacking itself…my counter attack is F O O D!

Lately my body has decided that it’s suddenly allergic to all kinds of things! It tells me not to eat wheat, rice, corn, oats, or dairy. Great. Being Vegetarian…this has forced me to eat more fruits. I’ve discovered the more fruits I eat, the better I feel. This was really put to the test recently after another flair up of my old friend pericarditis. This is a viral thing that causes the lining of the heart to swell and leaves you in extreme pain, not only at exertion of any kind, but also upon moving or even just trying to breathe. This is my fourth time playing host to the lovely pericarditis, and the normal course of action is to take 1000mg of Ibuprofen per day. Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory drug that over time can really wreak havoc on your liver and kidneys. Plus with this crazy allergy thing, I can’t take over-the-counter stuff now cause more than likely, I’m now allergic to it! So what’s one to do? My solution this time was to eat.

I got a list of all the best anti-inflammatory foods from the net…

Blueberries, Ginger, Turmeric, Grapes, Avocado, Lemons, Limes, Broccoli, Basil, Walnuts, Mint, Raspberries, Cherries, Kale……and tonnes more! check here

So I went off all cooked food immediately. For most of my calories, I drank Innocent Acai Berri Superfoods smoothies. I ate tonnes of blueberries and grapes, drank fresh ginger and turmeric tea (much better than it sounds) and for dinner each evening I’d have fresh veggies with lots of hummus.

Mind you after 4 times with this thing…I know how much the first week sucks. You can only take very shallow breaths, and forget walking up and down stairs. Just turning over in bed can make you cry. It’s horrible! I started on this diet the first day and in 24 hours my pain was reduced by 50%. 36 hours brought a 75% reduction in pain. By day three I was breathing pretty normally and had little to no pain. By day 4 the pain and the symptoms were GONE. I stayed on it for 7 days just to be sure and then started gradually adding back in one cooked meal per day. (usually lunch) I am still only eating fruits for breakfast as I want to bombard my cells with anti-oxidants first thing in the morning. I feel really amazing.

The absolute best way to protect yourself from illness is to eat the right foods. Ignore the propaganda. Foods have a PROFOUND effect on your health. Try replacing your morning muesli with grapes and blueberries for one week and see how you feel. I’m living proof!

xoxo

Afraid of Food! (As posted sometime in 2007)

So, here I am. It’s been a long time since I posted anything about nutrition. (blog readers eyes drooping at the mere mention)
So as some of you may/may not know, I’ve been vegetarian for a pretty long time. Off and on since I was sixteen and then full-time since the late 90’s. It’s been a fantastic life changer for me as it allowed me to lose around 55lbs. initially and also made me feel lots better. It takes some getting used to but for the most part these days it’s pretty easy not to eat meat. There are so many products on the shelves that allow us to have things like hot dogs, chicken cutlets and hamburgers without actually having to consume an animal. Life has been good. I was rolling along.

In the last two months I’ve come to think even more about what we put into our bodies and the balance of things that we eat. As a vegetarian, over the past 9 or so years I have been consuming A LOT of wheat and other grains. More than I should have and I haven’t been rotating the things that I eat. I have discovered for my system this is VERY bad. In fact, it has caused a severe wheat allergy for me along with a general intolerence to most grains including corn and rice. I was consuming wheat products on a daily basis for most every meal and have been having symptoms of intolerence for years now though I didn’t realise it! My doctor diagnosed me with panic disorder due to these anxiety attacks I was having. (which I realise now were after consuming large quantities of wheat) A few months ago my body finally had enough and I suffered an anaphalactic response to consuming a small amount of wheat. (by this time I already knew I was intolerant) Now even a crumb that gets into something I’m eating triggers this response. Not good.

So here’s the reason I’m writing this blog. I know I’ve just been dealing with this for a few months….but I’ve been doing a lot of reading and a lot of experimenting and here’s what I’ve found so far.

1. You need to rotate your diet so that you’re not consuming the same things all the time.
2. Vitamin C is a natural antihistimine. I haven’t had to take an emergency allergy pill in a while and I think it’s partially due to me eating oranges and upping my vitamin c intake.
3. Just becuase something says gluten-free doesn’t necessarily mean it is wheat-free. I’ve found this out the hard way.
4. Pay attention to your body. If you’re experiencing tingling around the mouth, tingling fingers and/or feet, dizziness, rapid heartbeat, patches of exema or a panicky feeling after eating it could be due to a food allergy.
5. If you suspect you have a food allergy you might want to go on an elimination diet. This is basically simplifying your diet and adding new foods in each day to pinpoint which foods are causing your problems. I did this….finding that all grains caused symptoms for me as well as milk, but I am able to consume cheese and yogurt with no problems.
6. If you do find that you have an intolerance or an allergy, make sure that you know all the names for the thing you need to look out for on labels and BECOME AN AVID LABEL READER…..As an example…if you have a wheat allergy you need to look for Dextrin, Malodextrin, Modified Food Starch, and Natural Flavours.
7. You will probably not be able to eat out safely again. Unless you are at a restuarant where they can make the food to your specifications and even then you are going to have to worry about cross-contamination. Crazy things like using the same butter someone’s buttered their bread with or a jar of peanut butter. You won’t be able to share these things.
8. Home cooked meals prepared with fresh foods are the best. Avoid as much canned and prepackaged goods as you can.

The light at the end of the tunnel is pretty bright. I honestly feel 10 years younger and I have only been avoiding grains (wheat for two months) for about a week now. Most of my symptoms has disappeared and I have so much more energy. I’ve dropped about 20lbs and I no longer have that bloated feeling in my tummy all the time. We need to get working on some recipes though! Since I can still eat egg and nuts….he’s a little something something I cooked for myself today.

1/8 c.Walnut Halves
1/2 tsp. EVOO
1/4 c. Chopped Onion
1/2 c. Chopped Veggies (Courgette, Broccoli, Carrots..whatever you choose
1/8 tsp. Red Pepper Flakes
1/4 tsp. dried basil
2 eggs
Salt to taste

Put the EVOO and the walnuts into your skillet. Sautee the walnuts for a few mins till they start to brown….add onion, red pepper flakes and basil. When the onion is getting a little brown throw in the rest of the veggies and sautee to desired consistency. Add eggs..beaten or not…what ever you choose. Cook until eggs are done and add salt to taste. The walnuts give this an amazing flavour. Enjoy!

Eat and be well! Don’t be afraid!